A doLpwiN’s taLe..

ok, u noe wat ? i tot i’ll never write in here again bcoz i hav a new blogspot blog n guess wat? when i was about to post something there i freakin forgot my password.. n i m not reali in the mood to go thru the hassle of retrieving it again.. so here i am again.. its mid august now.. can u belive it? my much awaited sem 5 exam in july is now over n done wit n i must say i did me proud.. lol..well not reali.. but slightly.. but the point is.. i cant belive how time is flying by.. zoom zoom.. so fast!!!

anyway millions of things has been happening.. n i have been reading ppl’s blog i mean my batchmate’s blog n realized gosh they are reali feeling too free with nothing to do.. i mean i read a few n they describe their hols s EMPTY? wow.. i mean i felt FAR from dat. i felt so wholesome, so complete..well i cudnt reali feel dat way maybe bcoz i have so many ppl in my family to share happiness with =) my brother n sister were both at home.. i had the best times of my lifes jus being in their company.. but all good things come to an end and first, my koko left to US to pursue his Masters.. n den yesterday, we sent lian off to the airport coz her 4 month holiday ended.. JUS LIKE DAT!! i can still remember the first day she touch down on her first holiday break.. gosh.. now its only the 4 of us at home.. n honestly im now partially accompanying my lil sis who’s studyin for pmr which is next month so i hav nothing better do to, thus writing this piece.. u noe wat.. i’m alreading missing ko n lian.. jun n i was jus talking about them.. =( sobz.. mum’s taking it quite badly.. talks about them everyday.. sad thing, to have to be 100000000000 miles away from ur loved ones..

on the happier note.. I CELEBRATED MY 21st birthday already tho my actual bday is on aug 26th.. =) bcoz ko had to leave b4 my actual bday n my only celebration wish is to be able to celebrate it wit my fam.. my fam threw me a BEAUTIFUL UNFORGETTABLE bday dinner =) n it was so magnificant i hav no idea where to start.. but i will anyhow =p they all got me to dress up n so i dressed up in a white dress which i loved so much..(my first time wearing it) so yeah i painted my face s best s i cud n i must say i like my makeup!! even ko said it was reali nice.. haha.. anyway we went to a japanese restaurant at KL.. yum yum my fav =) we ordered, n den talked .. u noe normal stuffs.. n den snap pictures.. s usual =p but my camera batt was already weak so koko n lian wanted to go get another camera from the car.. or atleast dat was their excuse..n i of coz didnt suspect anything.. so i was talkin to daddy n mummy n i was SO surprised to c papito eating the salmon sashimi.. hehe my jaw reali did dropped.. n he likes the unagi too!! apparently that restaurant is most famous for its unagi n i must say it taste superbly good =)

anyway suddenly.. the lights were off n all 3 of my beautiful siblings entered with THE WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL PINK CAKE wit a big 21 on it.. i was SOOO excited.. it was the prettiest cake i’ve ever layed eyes on!! yeeeee.. it was a double layered cake wit pink icing all over.. it was jus like my dream.. only prettier =) N DEN.. i made my 21st bday wish (which is a secret) n den blew the candles off in one breath =) n den it was pressssssie time!! my dad handed me.. a… BURBERRY PAPER BAG! i was like.. O.M.G. b4 dat let me tell u another story.. we were walking in star hill.. n den lian was sayin she prefers LV bag n i was like no not for me its so common like everybody in the world has it so i sed burberry is more my type.. N MY MUM HEARD.. n so one day she n jun went to KLCC to get it.. sigh.. when i open the wrap i was so stunned bcoz i REALI LOVED the bag.. =) n they had to go to so many stores to find it coz its the best selling one now.. hmm i loved loved loved it =) mum’s turn for pressie n she put on the necklace which i hadpicked earlier on.. it was ‘THE KEY’ to my adulthood.. s mum put it on i cudnt help but to feel reali grown up.. n mum’s kiss on my cheeks contributed to the lovingness i’ve felt.. she was so hapy.. i cud c it in her eyes..her daughter is already so big.. haha.. n den ko’s turn n he gave me this beautiful stone.. WIT MY FACE ON IT.. n i was instantly in love with it.. it was a picture of my ball nite in imu.. n i look so nice in it.. hahaahha.. lian n jun gave me shu uemura eye shadow.. which i wanted for a very long time! haha.. n den lastly.. they all handed me this gigantic plastic card..with all our pictures n msges frm my lovely family.. mum made me read out loud n by the time i read hers i was already crying.. it was jus so beautiful n the messages from each of them were so special n sincere.. i hugged them all an kissed them all n m SO thankful to God for giving me the best blessings in life.. (at the end in the car, they were telling me how they hid it from me all along, n the card.. wow.. didnt noe it was so troublesome.. but it was very unique.. n yeah i knew it took a long time to put it all together.. so i was reali touched) wait..i totally forgot to mention about the cake.. when i cut it.. i was so shocked coz it was STRAWBERRY flavoured.. i’ve been sayin i want a strawberry cake every since i dunno when i didnt expect them to actually buy one coz i noe its impossible to get one.. ahhh i was so touched honestly.. n u noe wat? the cake tasted like flowers.. the smell was so sweet the cake is so fragrant.. everything was jus perfect..  haha n den i heard how they were fighting over wat cake to get n how to get n where go get.. gosh pity them.. but i reali appreciated everything =) THANK U

i dun care.. i have to show the pics coz its my HAPPIEST nite of 2008 =)– my 21st bday =)

well.. the other pics.. u wont be able to c my necklace n the eye shadow n the stone ko gave me coz stupid frenster pics too small.. wud love to upload more pics but im jus too freakin lazy..

after that spectacular dinner, me, ko, n lian went to poppy’s coz his frenz were throwing him a farewell party.. s my koko was leavin to US the following week.. =( HOW UPSETTING!!! anyway gosh.. they were so many ppl there.. n my ko’s group were. crazy.. the number of ppl who were there.. hmm but it was fun.. got to dance wit ko n lian for  one of the final times.. sigh.. but it was nice =)

anyway.. i noe my parents spent loads on the dinner ;( ish.. but it was reali reali so so beautiful.. i was very happy =) so i wana say thank u to my family for making it so wonderfully special..

anway i think i wrote too much.. dats all for now =)

*muax muax*

its 4 in the morning now.. i had my ‘killer’ CNS paper today.. i meant killer in the way dat it was seriously a sucidal attempt to read, understand, digest n den memorize the lecture notes n numerous books.. the paper however, was .. not as difficult as i tot it would be.. nevertheless, i did my fair share of STUPID mistakes..

i tot i wud hav died in the exam hall, was panicking so badly last nite, i slept for er.. 3 hours? n now that its all over WHY cant i jus go to bed?

anyways! i feel like.. my direction in life’s about to change soon.. i rememberd  when i was all geared up to do medicine, it was like.. noone in the world cud stop me from achieving my dreams (those kinda feeling).. was so determined n prepared for wat is to come, even after countless demotivation! i came into sem1 wit the mindset of being the best.. n when i reach sem2.. all sorts of distraction came crashing in n i was like.. wtf wit med.. so i slacked.. as in i REALI SLACKED! so yeh, my social life took a hike up n my studies went plunging down.. ;( no regrets tho, i met my prince =)

n den after realizing wat an idiot i am.. i came to my senses n started working my ass out.. i gradually improved n rite now i feel so proud of myself i wud kiss myself if i cud.. (stay on the ground bee!) not to brag, but i feel so happy dat my effort reali did pay off.. its true u noe.. there’s nothing in the world u cannot have if u work ur butt out for it.. anways i better shuddup coz my finals is next month n i dont noe nuts..

when i was in my previous semesters, i alwiz hesitated when it comes to practical.. knowing i dun hav the ‘people’ skills n my knowledge is as shallow as a toad in the well.. i was so intimidated by all the geniuses in my uni n was doubting dat i cud be the doctor dat i wanted to be.. but rite now.. to hell with those insecurities.. i noe i can make it work if i wan it to work.. so yeah i’ve dump my social life aside (well.. partially) n i am all set to achieve my long lost goal.. its not too late yet.. n im sure with the loving support of my family, my tabby n my frens n the guidance from God, i’ll be able to succeed..

so many a times i felt like jus bloody quitting medicine n do somethingelse.. but something in me alwiz manage to hold me back.. n all the ‘ i belive u can’ talk from people i love alwiz strengthen dat inner power in me =) awww.. *hug them* i noe it wont be long b4 i start complaining about wat a stupid n horrible life im goin thru but well.. when it all comes to an end when i finally manage to save ONE person from leaving the world.. help jus ONE person from pain n sufferings– i noe den dat it will be worthwhile..

anyway yes i do notice dat my english sucks like hell.. i read james’s blog n ther were so many sentences when i was like.. OKAY!!! feeling dat my english is only comparable to those who graduated from kindergarden ;( sad sad thing to admit.. but sorta true..

i’m thankful dat as im growing older.. i feel more commited in wat im about to do wit my future.. its like.. i reali wana be a quality doctor.. i wana be able to push myself n reach higher heights.. i feel more responsible over my actions..However, im not thankful dat im actually aging..

anyway the other aspects of my life : MY SISTER IS BACK FROM US! so my family is completed once again, the dinner table is full again, the hse is filled with laughters once again =) ahh..

FAYE"S also back.. tho i haven seen her =(

i got more attached n closer to james n mui (psychologically)- debra n jane’s the same pigs…

i miss my high skul frens so much!! excluding tissy coz i do c her quite often but i miss hangin out wit them.. ahhhhhhh

n.. … im goin overseas… no wait.. b4 dat i have a major exam.. on june 30th.. so anyone reading this.. ur prayers is needed ! =p lol

ok anyway.. tata.. im bored of writing.. someone save my english..

seriously, i’m about to fall asleep rite now, but for the sake of not falling asleep for not reason, i’d type.

Hmmmmm, let’s see.. i’m so far loving 2008 becoz firstly– THERE"S NO UNI!!! =) ok its suppose to be a study break but it so doesnt feel like it! its like i’ve graduated or sumthing.. im not even bothered to study for my finals.. this must so change!! perhaps next week. its cny darling..

i went to BALI.. west or south indonesia? i forgot.. but it is a very interesting country i wud say. our tour err leader?’s name is ARDI! n he was a freakin nice guy =) not cute, but yeah, nice. we planned this trip as an easy n free trip so we can relax more den rushing to all the tourist attraction spots. our first 2 days were spent in the beach, n around the hotel coz there’s so freakin many places to shop. n somehow my brains wasnt funtioning well dat day coz i decided to wear a strap blouse n a short skirt. so at the end of the second day, u cud actually compare a roasted pig’s colour to mine.. seriously we look the same, mebbe me a lil prettier- dats all.

my brother, my sister n i were crazy.. actually its more like both of them irritating me n i had to scream at them to ask them to shut up!! but yeah we were enjoying it =) lazy to go into details but it was a damn fun trip =) dad was compromising wit us the whole way.. the only sad thing dat happened in the trip is dat my mummy didnt get anything for herself coz she was buys helping us buying ours! seeeeee my mother is so selfless sometimes i feel so yiiiiiiiiiiiii-ly bad.. =( but i told myself dat i’d use my ang pow money to buy her a blouse! n i shall hold to dat promise.

n today wat did i do? i got up bcoz of the ‘dong dong dong chiang’ from the neighbours.. cis.. we all went for lunch n when we got back my stomach.. was attempting to murder me wit pain.. i dun even remember how long did i curl up n growl.. den after dat when i got better i went n bake cookies.. shit im addicted to baking cookies. wat is wrong wit me.. i was like ‘ i’m gonna bake more cookies’ n dad was like ‘ NO, No need already, next time la’  . correction to wat ur thinking, its not bcoz my cookies arent delicious!! its coz my whole hse is swamped by my cookies.. n im still baking.. c, i found another point bout myself - when i like sumthing i’d keep on doing in constantly till im freakin bored of it.. so today it was choc cookies n almond crisp (both debra’s receipe) n also.. ahhhhhhh my ALL TIME fav cornflakes cookie. im guily of eating 3 pieces - it was irresistable.. =(  o den i helped out mum wit new year dinner =) we had my fav shark fin’s soup.. muahaha i think i ate 5 bowls.. seriously, my mum’s soup is better den the ones in the shop =) n wait, the fin’s are fake bcoz i am strongly AGAINST killing sharks jus for their fins! so if u eat the authentic shark fin’s soup den shit, i hate u. no, seriously. n after dinner we all decorated the hse wit cny decos =) my job was the ang pow folding n hanging.  =)

ok, im tired aready… so tata n tmr i’m gonna wear a pink cheong sam.. omgggggggggggggggggggggggg im so excited.. n err afraid? argh.. ok tata =) *muax muax*

happy chinese new year to all

Pooooof! its a whole new year already.. how fast time hav passed us all.. although i seriously hate the fact that i am turning 21 this year (OMG again) ..i feel i’ve grown to understand life a tiny bit better den the clueless self i was for the past i dunno how many years..

i mean, heck i’m a THIRD year medical student already.. anytime soon i’d be sayin i’m a doctor ALREADY.. but still the fear of the future has never left me! but in all else i’m happy. for instance– i’ve changed from my extremely princessy attitude to a erm less princessy one =) this of coz thanks to my darling baby n also to all my great frenz out there! My mistakes were pin pointed clearly n i managed to change some but den again– loads more to go!!

actually, i feel i’ve matured alot.. i dun c things the way it looks anymore, i hang on a lil longer to find out wat it contains! n like wat ju alwiz say : be the change u wan to c in the world.. i’ve learnt that n am still learning about love n being in a relationship with someonesle, not jus speaking about ‘bf-gf’ but relationship wit ppl in general. n sometimes u just got to drop some that will taunts u n only keep the golden ones.. Many ppl say i’d be damn good in a relationship owing to the errmmm previous relationships that i have but that is all so not true.. i mean those were the days where u define love as ‘omg he’s so cute’ but things have changed.. n i’m thankful i found one who taught me so many lessons in life, share wit me our experiences n m willing to grow n learn together with me..

ANd s for frenz.. i’m only keeping the true ones.. the fake ones can juz drop dead n i wont care (ok im exaggerating a lil) so yeah n i find myself so much more happier rather den tryin to pretend to be happy wit ones im not happy wit.. like.. y shud i bother to have u in my life when ur such a pain in the ass!! so yeah i got rid of that problem n rite now, im SO HAPPY that i noe who my true frenz are..

N most importantly- my family. we’ve come a long way to stand where we are standing now.. i mean of coz there are the occasional fights n disagreements but communication worked its way around us! n i’m thankful for every reason. soon i’ll be leaving to further my studies n im shit scared to leave my family.. i mean i’d be home sick every single day!! but den again, its a part of growing up one must face.. for example- my bro has done dat n has return.. now my sister is far away but adapting though it must be reali hard.. i miss her =( n i so dun wan to go but the days to leave is nearing =(

n also my studies– yeah dat i must put more effort into!

other den that, i feel so blessed! 2008 shud be a good year now except for the fact that i mite be leaving THIS YEAR!! oh gosh gosh gosh.. No.. i must grow up!!

to all mentioned above — * i love u all SO MUCH* i noe there were no names but still! u shud noe who u are *hugs*

10.jan.08

Feels like I have always known you

And I swear I dreamt about you

All those endless nights I was alone

It’s like I’ve spent forever searching

Now I know that it was worth it

With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels

Thought I knew how it feels

But with you it’s like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless

When you talk to me

You leave me breathless

The way you look at me

You manage to disarm me

My soul is shining through

Can’t help but surrender

My everything to you

I thought I could resist you

I thought that I was strong

Somehow you were different from what I’ve known

I didn’t see you coming

You took me by surprise and

You stole my heart before I could say no

The way you smile, the way you touch my face

It’s something that you do I can’t explain

I run a million miles just to hear you say my name

Baby, you leave me speechless

i did a ‘personality analysis’.. n this was the result :

Moods- wild cat

You’re drawn to the drama of a big spectacle and appreciate the unpredictability of nature. You like life rugged and rough round the edges( SO NOT TRUE, i dun like it! it juz alwiz happen to me!!) When it comes to art, you’re a fashionista-hefty price tags, uncomfortable trends are worth it. Image is everything. You believe in self expression. As for music, it rules your weekend. Sweaty clubs, bangin parties, you’re social and love going out, meeting up and having it. Your choice of treat reveals an indulgent side to you. A real food lover, you like to have all of your cake.

FUN- sweet escape

oh- insatiable! Your thirst for affection never drops. You’ve got a high sex drive and apetite for love. FOr kicks there is nothing like a little affection to give you a buzz. There is always time to love. When it comes to holidays, you reckon they should always be indulgent- a very special treat and a chance to recharge your batteries in luxurious surroundings as well as spending time with family and friends.

HABITS- New wave puritan

Living in a material world you are always flashing the plastic. You like to live for today and not get caught up thinking about tomorrow. Your choice of drink shows you care more about the enjoyment, savouring every moment of it wit classical taste. As for the home, your bold personality is reflected in your style. You like to be in surroundings that lift your mood.

LOVE- Nice & Cheesy

You’re a real romantic and a bit of a dreamer. OK, life may not be a moive but what’s wrong with thinking it is? When you think of freedom- you think of opportunities it carries.. big enough to hous all your ambitions, where people can be whoever they want.

shocking how most of them are true actually.. n there u go.. i take freedom as opportunities!.. which kinda means every failure i make is a stepping stone to success.. aint it? so i guess i can do better even if it seems as though the world is crumbling on my shoulders.. positive thinkin is the KEY bee.. * shrugs *

BEING POSITIVE

by BeeLiNg

i laid in bed today.. juz like how i did this whole 1 week.. helpless n sick.. knowin exams is approachin.. tried so hard to toughen up n register things dat i have learnt n things dat i have not learnt.. i was thankful dat i did my early revision on the bulk load of patho dat i had to study.. at the same time, cursing myself for fallin sick at the wrong time n thus neglecting the parasites.. which composed 75% of my exam paper today.. i sat down there lookin helplessly at the ‘cerebral malaria’ microsopic picture.. trying to recall as best as i cud wat i listened in lecture.. but my effort was seemingly useless coz i had a terrible headache even while doing the paper, not to mention my handwriting was all sloppish..

i cant deny dat im disappointed.. disappointed in myself for neglecting the parasites part.. but i was even too sick to get up from bed, wat more sit n study some stupid parasites n wtf does it do in our body n its life cycle.. seriously sucks..

on another note, it is magnificent how a mother’s love can heal u.. i was so sick.. like.. reali so sick.. dat i can barely move.. n now im feeling so much better thanks to my mum’s care n love, which somehow brought tears to my eyes when she tug me in this afternoon before proceeding to her endless tasks of the day.. amazing reali, the amount of work she does.. simply amazing.. wakin up early in the morning to check on me, spongin me wit wet towel to bring my extremely high fever down.. bought me so many health pills..ensuring i take them.. n she was so persistent in trying to make me feel better so dat i can actually attend my exam.. the love of a mother.. * i love her *

n yet.. im about to disappoint her ONCE AGAIN.. i noe i screwed today’s paper.. no questions needed.. =( wats wrong wit me.. cant i do anythin right? sighz..

its raining cats n dogs here.. perfect timing to sleep.. but im so sick of sleeping.. stupid sleeping! cost me a whole deduction of marks!! *hate u* !!!

n from the ‘romantic’ aspect of life.. things haven been going too great i wud say.. i haven seen him for AGES.. fine mebbe not dat long but to me it seems like eternity.. ;( n i miss him so much dat missing reached its limits..

friends? well, im glad tissy is in imu wit me, but things isnt how i picture it wud be.. i used to think we’d have lunch together n stuffs..but sigh.. where is the time? ;( n my other frenz? god i haven seen them for the longest time n all i nit now is some girly moments wit them to juz pour out my heart n soul.. yin msged me n even asked if i remembered her.. *OUCH* .. of coz i do!!! i’m just too caught up wit uni.. i had a very pleasant surprise on monday as jo n via turn up in my house wit banana pie … ooo how i miss those two petite girls.. not to mention jo was the one who took me to clinic last nite when i cudnt drive.. see i have irreplaceable frenz =) well, my imu frenz are helping me lots, encouragin me n stuff i wud hav collapse if it werent for them constantly being there..and anyhow ju still has the right words to say.. somehow he juz noes exactly how i feel.. n dats one thing dat comforts me most knowing dat i have someone to turn to whom reali understands.. i dun have to say a word.. he juz looks at me, n tells the tale behind my eyes.. *thanks Ju* tmr’s vasakhi, n i wud love to celebrate together wit jasbir, n of coz him.. but i guess i juz cud not..i miss clubbin wit them.. i miss hanging out.. reali.. being laid back without a care in the world juz for a short period of time… n den snap back to reality.. which is a living hell..

dats y i say-u can only have one thing in life.. n since i’ve chosen medicine.. i have to say goodbye to every other aspect of my life!so here’s a reluctant goodbye to my life———–GOODBYE!!!

i juz wana swim away.. for sometime..

needing a break.

*beeLiNg*

well.. here i am again.. the time of the time.. when u juz have to glue urself to the chair(in my case,BED).. n do nothing but feed more n more information to ur poor brain.. n hope it stays there till exams are done n over wit..

too bad im currently in a crisis.. i juz had a major fight wit someone whom i love so much.. for such a stupid reason.. n things didnt resolved but ended at its worst.. ;( im such an ass.. ;(

i have so many things to do in life but yet i have to sacrifice every damn thing to ensure i do well in wat matters most rite now-my education.. i’ve been flunkin quite a number of papers.. owing to my lack of discipline n the NEED to hang out n chillax.. ;( but rite now.. i feel the disappointment in myself.. knowing dat i cud go further but the fact dat i let myself drop this low ;( i never was the ‘last few students’.. but rite now.. my name was even up in the remedial classes list.. shrugs.. some of the ppl listed there are smart.. but i noe my case is bcoz they’re quite sure im gonna fail the next paper.. ;( i feel so low.. juz so LOW!!

wat has gotten into me? i have no idea.. Life is juz so unfair…. fine.. its fair dat u gotta work hard for wat u wan.. but y must u alwiz sacrifice SO MUCH too? GOd.. i so hate my personality.. y cant i be like those ppl who hates shopping, n hates clubbing n hate movies..n juz love lookin at the different pathological pictures of some stupid goddamn lungs!!.. which reminds me i still have SO DAMN MUCH TO COVER!!!

sigh.. sometimes i wonder.. did i reali make the rite choice? im only in my startin of my SECOND year.. i have another.. say.. 4 years plus.. b4 i get my BASIC degree.. n after dat i have to specialize.. for another i dunno how many earthly years.. n havin sed dat.. im already suffering like crap rite now..

tmr’s my exam.. im screwed..

goodnite..

Ok.. suNday is finally goNe n doNe with.. yes n as i was dreading .. its gonna be back to lifeless studying life once again.. =(

Me n My koko n My papito juz got back from my grandMa’s place.. for ‘bai tin gong’ which in hokkien is to pray to God.. some kinda offerings thingy.. im not too sure.. for 20 years (ok fine, mebbe not 20.. i did miss a few) i’ve been goin to my grandma’s hse… doin the same exact thing not knowing exactly wats the purpose for n today i took the initiative to find out..

As my dad said : during the olden days, many hokkien ppl were being killed by.. o shit.. i forgot who.. but anyway.. yeah.. so on this very day ( the 9th day of cny) they hid within the wild bamboos n dats how they escape so bamboos are kinda like their savier or some sort.. so dats y every year this day they’ll offer some stuff to the GOd including the bamboo as an act of thank you, n if i’m not mistaken, to pray for wat u want, n to get peace in life..

so yeah.. us cousins.. sat down on the floor in front of my dear o grandma who speaks a language i cant understand.. were folding the ‘gold papers’ into models of ‘gold’ which is also to offer to God.. so after folding we went to burn it.. u Noe. last time when we were younger.. it was alwiz the adults who gather the gold in a heap n set it to fire while us kids have to stay INSIDE the house.. n now.. we, so called kids are the ones folding the gold, gathering the golds, n den setting it to flames in the center of the outside gate.. its an act of offering as i’ve mentioned.. den when the mountain of gold is burnt down to dust, my dearest papito did the honors of choping the bamboo leaves into the burning flames.. ( my dad did this for a few years now) yeah.. den we will pour cups of tea ( also an offering) on the burning gold.. n dats it.. end of story..

o ya, i also prayed.. first off , papito gave me 10 joss stick ( k fine i dunno how to spell) but i burnt my hand wit it.. so freakin pain…firstly, i had to kneel down in front of an avatar wit offerings n pray for wat i want.. n my prayers.. to the chinese GOd n to Jesus is the same.. the same whishings for my parents, the same happiness of my family n everything.. but i had an added prayer today.. den i went to err put my sticks into the prayin errrr prayin base? u noe the one where u stick the praying stick to? ok anyway.. i prayed at the wrong direction.. HOW EMBARASSING!! my uncle ( my dad’s bro) had to tell me in hokkien.. which i barely understood.. dat i had to face the main gate .. ooops.. so yeah i did as i was told.. so 3 sticks on the higher altar, 3 other on the table, 1 for the kitchen, 1 for kuan yin, 1 for err im not sure, n the other is for my ancestor ( which is my grandfather) tragically, i’ve never seen him.. so yeapz close shop!

den we ate.. n we talked for awhile.. oh ya.. i was sitting wit my koko.. facing my grandma.. n she sed ‘ mei ling, dot dot dot dot dot..’ i CUDNT understand.. goodness.. i felt so bad =( i wished i learnt the language.. n there my brother, talkin so confidently to her, my grandma ( k, we call her mama) .. mama actually laughed.. i understood wat my bro said.. but mama speaks a diff type of hokkien.. which is hing hwa.. which.. is… So much harder den hokkien.. which is already hard.. anyway yeah.. my koko made everyone laughed n everyone was sooooooooo shocked dat he cud speak hokkien.. I WANA RE-LEARN! i remember when i was young me n ko used to speak so damn fluently in hokkien.. its not to say i’ve forgotten the whole language but its juz … i cant speak.. damn shit.. i wana learn.. so in the car i kept askin daddy words.. n yeapz he taught me afew words.. dats it.. i wana learn!! n i wana be able to communicate wit mama sooon!! hey an extra language.. not bad MY BROTHER KNOWS SO DAMN MANY LANGUAGES!! UNFAIRRRR!… wait let me count.. o shit.. he noes almost 8 language .. he’s juz so smart

anyway its tiMe to go to bed.. i"m meetin up my fantastic 5 freNz at 11 in the morning tmr.. NO, NOT FOR BREAKFAST.. we’re gonna TRY to study respiratory system.. not reali study.. juz refresh..

ok Nitey nitez everyoNe.. its goNna be a Long day tmr .. ;(

Love,

beeLiNg***

1.47am (supposedLy Monday)-A SAD DAY

niBOO-HOOOO!!! another suNday n damn.. i’ll be attending the torturous lectures in IMU again.. darn it.. y cant the holidays be longer when im actually enjoying it? ;(

Okayz, today we weNt over to YeaN babe’s house for our yearLy routine of special CNY gambling.. u noe the only time u dun feel so guilty of giving away ur money since ur not reali using ur own but more of the ‘ang pau’ collected.. so yeapz.. first off.. kelly’s bf introduced the game ‘poker’ which was so alien to me considering im only familliar wit black jack n ‘cho dai di’ ( which is my fav among fav) anyway, err yeah poker i lost … like.. sigh.. n kel’s bf was hitting the big bucks.. haha … its a game which requires errr say.. bravery, luck.. n CHEATING skills.. ok lets not exaggerate.. more of hmm acting n convincing skills.. ok den after dat kel, bf, cow, crys n perng went back.. den left the few of us .. we proceeded to my game!!! cho dai di!! yay finally =) den we black jack.. i had my proud moments of 21s was winning comfortably den ended up all gone.. but heck it was more for the fun of it less for the money.. i reali enjoyed my whole day wit these few ppl whom i’ve spent my whole sec skul life wit.. =) was reali nice catching up.. amazing how the 4 of us used to sit n gossip bout hot n cute n potential bf guys n now lookin at all of them.. each one having their respective boyfrens with them.. ahhhh.. how time flies..

anYway.. u noe my sister told me dat i shud never own anything expensive bcoz i tend to juz destroy it in a matter of time.. well true enuf, so far i’ve burnt a hole in her NIKE shoe ( which was totally by accident– BLAME THE CHEMICALS i was using in CHEM LAB!!!)  but lookin at the brighter side,  mum got her a new nicer pair! ok hmm.. den errrrr yeah i broke lian’s heels.. n err jun’s one as well.. fine i admit it was my fault.. den i errrrr broke jun’s sunglasses.. n den i broke the GUESS sunglasses dat mum gave me.. n den errrr my TISSOT watch is in a very horrible condition.. n recently my v3x decided to give up on me n broke down.. n den… errr my beautiful PINK camera fell down the floor n ooooop.. spoil..

ok.. u noe wat i feel i get things too easily so dats it… i shal make a silent promise to myself dat i will not spend my money so wastefully.. n i will.. NEVER buy anythin expensive for a year .. to teach me a lesson.. hmm…NOT EVEN CLOTHES.. yeah.. that’ll do..

n u noe wat.. i was juz tokin to kell online n she.. is so funny.. she actually thinks im the hardest partier in the entire IMu… yeah.. she used dat exact words.. hehe lolz.. i told her she’ll be shock when she enters IMU this year … it’ve been so Long siNce we’ve actually sat down n spoken.. n she.. is seriously so pretty rite now.. n the other two.. j n yeaN… Looks beautifuL as well.. n j– never changEd.. she’s stil the sweetest thiNg aLive.. n yean.. — the gossiper haha

anyway i’M off.. so good day everyboday..

HOLIDAYS… are over.. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!!!!!!